Keep your head above the water, These waves are getting taller.

its hard.
this life... it's just hard.
lately i've been struggling with trying to be me.
trying to decide if i want to listen to everyone and choose a side..
or to choose myself and do what i want.
what i think is best for me.
but according to myself and everyone else i'll probably choose the wrong so i guess its okay...
the thing is that i haven't ever really done things i wanted to anyways.
and now that i want to, its hard to get out of the habit of pleasing everyone.
everyone needs to be happy or i feel like i cant sit still.
i cant just sit here while someone is upset or sad or even indifferent.
i want so badly to be okay.
but if those around me are falling then who can hold me up?
am i really on higher ground then you? or you then me?
are you sure i'm able to pull you out?
i want to say that i am, or that you are, but its been hard to tell...
i keep feeling the anxiety creep back in.
i keep feeling the lonely run its sweep over me.
i can't help but notice the waves of sadness crash on the shores of my feelings
when will it be my turn to find him?
i just want it to be now.
i know what i want.
i know what i should be doing.
or at least i think i do.
but what happens if i'm wrong?
what happens to us.. to you.. to me..
i guess i'll just have to be brave enough to find out..